As a young boy I remember calling for my mom when I was unable to sleep because I had worries on my mind. I had it in my head that mom or dad might soon die. I don’t recall the genesis of this thought, but I wanted assurance that they would never die. Like any parent would, my mom caringly crafted her answer in such a way that it put me at ease as it’s hard to explain to a child that death is part and parcel of life.
And now that childhood fear has come true. Certainly, from then until now I’ve come to terms with the rhythms of life as long ago I came to understand that no one lives forever. Just the same, it is hard to believe that mom and now dad have moved on.
We are so proud of what our father accomplished in his professional career, both as attorney and judge. He practiced each with the highest integrity and taught my siblings and me how to conduct ourselves as we navigated life—that honesty and one’s word are the most valuable currencies. As important as this lesson was, what we have come to appreciate even more are the days and years that we spent as a family. This appreciation, at least for me, did not come automatically. It took years to realize that being together for celebration and challenge, for triumph and trouble, for happiness and hurdle is an incredible blessing. And this togetherness, this sharing is what is sorely missed. As with mom’s passing and now dad’s it is hard to believe that they aren’t just a call away. Just a call away to share the happenings of the day to plan a trip to the beach to laugh about times past.
My sister, brother and I, and John’s grandchildren are so fortunate to have had this man in our lives. His selfless generosity, his quiet manner, his determination to turn the focus on our concerns rather than his were his hallmarks and perhaps not realizing it these were the other lessons he gifted to us—as we are prone to ask,” What would dad do? Or what would grandpa do?”
Like all who’ve lost loved ones, I could share many a story, but to honor what I am sure dad would want, I will turn the focus away from him and simply suggest to all that old adage—Treasure your family while you have them for family is a true miracle.
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